Parent Mental Health Tips from Experts Who Led Local Workshops

When Leticia Guerrero-Castaneda's son was in fifth grade, and the pandemic hit, he developed severe anxiety. He would wash his hands so frequently that they would start to bleed.

Guerrero-Castaneda had a hard time coping. "As a parent, it affects you so much when your kids are mentally unwell."

She has two kids, is a 911 dispatcher and a full-time psychology student.

"When the pandemic hit and all of these new issues were coming up with my kids, things just felt so hard. I felt like I was losing myself as a person and as a parent," Guerrero-Castaneda said.

When Guerrero-Castaneda was at her lowest, the principal at her kids' school, Norma Coombs Elementary School in Pasadena, told her about a new program for parents – The Community Health Action Mental Perseverance workshop (CHAMP).

The CHAMP workshops ran from September to April of the 2021-22 school year. Three psychologists ran four sessions to help parents of elementary school-aged children cope with new mental health challenges of recent years.

"During the pandemic, parents not only became caregivers, they also became teachers and coaches and friends and therapists for their children … no one asked, 'How are these parents doing?'" said Cassandra Peel, one of the founders of the program. "That's what this program was all about."

In the spring of 2020, three psychologists at Pacific Oaks College, Cassandra Peel, Camille Huggins and Giovanni Hortua, noticed that the mental health of parents in their community was getting overlooked. They approached Norma Coombs Elementary School, a predominantly low-income school in Pasadena, to co-develop a mental health program for parents.

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The program specifically targeted English learner parents and Black parents. In the workshops, parents discussed their fears, anxieties and grief around the pandemic.

"In the beginning, many parents spoke about the unpredictability of each day and about how their entire family structure was changing due to lockdown," said Huggins. In the Black parent workshop, a lot of parents spoke about young Black boys and their mental health. Parents also felt that their kids were losing their childhood and didn't know how to deal with that."

Peel, Huggins and Hortua provided tactics for stress management and taught parents how to communicate unexpected death and loss to their children.

"It was so healing to have time with other parents going through similar things that I was," said Guerrero-Castaneda. "After the workshops, I always felt so much more equipped to go back to my family and take on whatever challenges we were facing that day."

Guerrero-Castaneda said that it was in the CHAMP workshop that she started realizing she was depressed. "Talking to these psychologists and other parents really gave me the space to see that I was not OK and I needed some more support … I don't think I would have realized [that] without having this space to put words to my feelings."

The CHAMP psychologists provided referrals and extra one-on-one sessions to parents after workshops. Guerrero-Castaneda began seeing a therapist after the CHAMP group ended.

Since the last workshop series ended in late April, Hortua and Huggins said they are brainstorming ideas for what the community needs next. "We always need to be shifting focus to really understand what parents are needing. We often forget about them. Right now, we're seeing educators and parents dealing with serious anxiety around school safety," Huggins said.

After the shooting in Uvalde this year, parents have to negotiate the complex and scary feelings of sending their kids to preschool. For educators, it's the anxiety of going to school themselves, Huggins said.

"We're in a new place … normalcy has changed … parents need to grieve the fact that they don't have a sense of security and safety in the same way they used to … and we need to address the fact that these parents and educators are scared."

Norma Coombs Elementary School principal Debra Lucas said schools must be open to working with new programs and outside resources to help students and families in new and innovative ways.

"We need to take care of the whole community. CHAMP made us see there is so much need amongst parents and educators. If we get them to feel mentally well and stable, our young students will be so much better equipped in the long run."

The CHAMP program will be implemented in other school districts next year.

"Parents as much as students and educators need the space to express themselves, reflect, and voice and honor their needs," Huggins said. "We want to provide these parents permission and tools to feel what they need to feel and work with themselves."

Parent Mental Health Tips from CHAMP Program Psychologists

CHAMP psychologists Cassandra Peel, Camille Huggins and Giovanni Hortua shared the top tips that helped parents in the program.

1. Support Your Children by Emphasizing Your Love for Them Daily
"Parents and guardians that get up every morning, prepare meals for children and kiss them before they leave for school explained to us that they did so because they may not see them ever again. This is the harsh reality we are all living in, and letting your family members know they are loved does not mean spoiling or letting them not have boundaries. It is making sure you have a healthy line of communication with your children while also letting them know they are loved and treasured."

2. Acknowledge That You Are Doing the Best You Can
"We are our own harshest critic, and having grace with ourselves, acknowledging our limits and capacity, will minimize blame and self-doubt and reduce depression and anxiety symptoms. Despite these tense times, understand that as parents and guardians, you are considering the best precautions possible to ensure a stable and healthy environment for your children."

3. It's OK to Be Honest With Your Children About Your Lived Reality and Your Fears
"Children may consider parents and guardians as superheroes: perfect without fear. However, life throws curveballs that make us react in a less than courageous way. It's important to be transparent with our children when dealing with reality. Children are always watching and mimicking your actions and would appreciate truthful conversations and to partner with you on handling situations. This will teach them coping skills and resilience."

More Mental Health Resources for Parents in the Greater Los Angeles Area

• The National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) offers a free six-week education program for parents and caregivers who have children dealing with mental illnesses. The program is tailored for parents' busy schedules. NAMI has a Westside Los Angeles chapter.
• The Whole Child is a nonprofit that primarily provides mental health services and other essential resources to single parents in nonwhite communities around L.A.
• The National Parent Helpline is a national organization parents can call for advice and a supportive ear if they are experiencing parenting struggles.
• The USC Caregiver Support Center offers support groups for different types of caregivers around L.A.
• Alma Family Services offers mental health support for Spanish-speaking parents and families.
• WIN Los Angeles (Westside Infant Family Network) is a nonprofit that provides free, in-home mental health support to vulnerable and underserved families around L.A.