Helping Kids Understand Their Inner Monster With Grover from ‘Sesame Street'
"Sometimes the monster that's inside you, it's a monster that is mad, it's a monster who is angry, it's a monster who feels bad; when your monster wants to throw things, and your monster wants to shout, there's a way to calm your monster, and chill your inner monster out." — Sesame Street: Common and Colbie Caillat Sing "Belly Breathe" with Elmo.
If you kept a log to jot down each emotion you felt throughout the day, you'd likely fill the page within a few hours. As grown-ups, most of us have a toolbox of strategies that we can pull from when we don't feel well. Examples might include mindful breathing, therapy, letting thoughts pass like clouds in the sky and exercising to de-stress. But sometimes, we forget that the children in our care also experience an array of emotions without as many tools at their disposal or the words to explain what's going on internally.
Young children need support and modeling from grown-ups to regulate their emotions, make sense of unfamiliar and frightening experiences, navigate change and feel safe. Stories like "The Monster at the End of This Book," written by Jon Stone and illustrated by Michael Smollin, offer ample opportunities to invite children to identify their emotions, teach kids that it's OK not to feel OK and build a family regulation toolkit! Try out the suggestions below before, during and after diving into the story.
You can also watch a video version of the book, "The Monster at the End of This Story," on the PBS KIDS app.
Before You Dive In
Explore your emotional landscape. Before children can express their feelings, they need to develop their emotional vocabulary. Games like Feelings Faces and videos like "Naming Feelings" from Sesame Street in Communities help kids learn how to express how they feel and tune into facial characteristics and gestures that might help us understand how our friends feel.
Bring attention to body sensations. Once children learn their emotional vocabulary, you can start modeling how to tune in to body sensations that help you recognize your feelings throughout the day. Examples include:
- "Grandpa is coming over soon! It's been so long. My heart is beating fast, and I feel like my body wants to run through the door and give him a great big hug. I'm feeling so excited!"
- "I'm nervous because I have a big presentation today. My tummy is rumbling, and my heart feels like it's beating in my tummy. I'm going to drink a big glass of cold water because that usually helps me feel better!"
- "My body feels so light, and my mind feels open like I'm right here in the present moment with you. I feel so calm playing with you outside."
Read books that help kids explore their body's sensations:
- "Listening to My Body"/Escuchando a mi Cuerpo" (Ages 4-10)
Written by Gabi Garcia and illustrated by Ying Hui-Tan
- "We Listen to Our Bodies" (Ages 3-5)
Written by Lydia Bowers and illustrated by Isabel Muñoz
Connect to their experiences. Sit down with your child and provide an example of a time when you felt scared. You might say something like, "I remember feeling scared once when it was thundering outside. My tummy felt like it had butterflies in it, and I wanted to hide under the covers. Instead, I listened closely to the rain falling on the roof and found it comforting. I realized I can do hard things! Do you remember a time when you felt scared?" Listen to your child as they share their ideas. Next, ask your child to think about things that make them feel better when they feel scared. Ideas might include a hug from a safe person, warm blankets, taking deep breaths, coloring a picture, playing with sensory toys, or doing an activity they enjoy.
As You Read
Notice and wonder. As you read "The Monster at the End of This Book" or watch "The Monster at the End of This Story," invite your child to notice what's happening. Ask prompting questions, such as, "How does Grover feel?" and "How do you know how Grover is feeling?" Encourage children to think about phrases they might say to Grover to help him calm his fears. Examples might include, "Grover, you can do hard things." and "Grover, make friends with your fear." Ask your child to wonder about what will happen next and why Grover is afraid of monsters. Accept all their answers. If you're reading the book, take your time and build suspense before turning each page. Incorporate early number sense skills by counting "one, two, three" alongside your child and inviting them to turn the page for you!
Reassure them that all feelings are valid. Throughout the story, Grover becomes increasingly fearful and thinks about everything he can do to stop the reader from turning the page or the story from continuing. This provides an excellent opportunity to talk to young children about the importance of allowing all feelings. Remind your child that it's OK to feel afraid, scared, or nervous, just like Grover. Bring attention to the things Grover does to try to push his feelings away (he uses ropes, builds a brick wall, and begs us not to turn the page). Ask kids questions to get them to think about what would happen if Grover approached his feelings with curiosity, such as:
- "How might Grover make friends with his fear to get through the story?"
- "What might Grover figure out on his own if he paused and took a few deep breaths?"
After Reading
Build your family toolkit. All families benefit from creating a toolkit of activities for when a family member experiences big feelings. There are many ways to approach a toolkit. You may decide to make a basket with sensory toys, kids books that explore emotions and art materials that you can use to create art projects together. Alongside a tangible toolkit, practice strategies as a family that can support your child's emotional resilience during difficult times. Some ideas include:
- Practice mindfulness. Think of mindfulness as awareness. Although mindfulness is the heart of Buddhist meditative practice, people of all religions, cultures and ages practice mindfulness because of the scientifically proven benefits. Pause before you practice mindfulness to discuss body sensations. Is it warm, cool, tight, open, calm, or anxious? To start, draw a large heart on a piece of paper and set aside some quiet time to breathe. Teach your child how to breathe in for three counts while using their finger to trace the right side of the heart (from top to bottom) and breathe out for three counts while tracing the left side of the heart (from bottom to top). After you breathe together, ask your child what color reminds them of how they feel before and after breathing and to talk about how their body feels.
- Normalize sharing feelings as a family. Throughout the day, practice vocalizing how your emotions influenced your actions and give your kid opportunities for your child to do the same. If your child is experiencing big feelings like anger or sadness, wait until they regulate or calm down before talking about what happened.
When we take the time to support young children's social and emotional health, we also reap the benefits. Tapping into our innermost feelings increases our self-awareness and provides us with compassion for all beings everywhere.
More Ways to Support Young Children's Social and Emotional Learning
- How to Help Kids Develop Meaningful Friendships and Social-Emotional Skills at Home
- Lessons from Mister Rogers: How Kind Caregivers Can Help Kids Become Caring Adults
- 4 Ways to Foster Social-Emotional Learning Skills From Your Living Room
- Three Ways to Stay Calm When Your Child Isn't
- Ideas for Joyful Learning During School Closures: Let’s Get Physical … and Emotional
